The Ask

The rule

Never send money to someone you have not met in person. No exceptions for how long you have spoken, how certain you feel, or how small the amount.

That sounds absolute because it is. Every softening of it is where the losses live.

Why the first amount is small

The opening request is usually modest and easily repaid. That is deliberate, and the money is not the objective.

The objective is the first transaction. Once you have sent something once, several things change at once. You have demonstrated willingness. You have acquired a small sunk cost. And the category has shifted from "people I send money to: nobody" to "people I send money to: this person". Every subsequent request is a variation rather than a first.

Many operators repay the first amount promptly. That is not evidence of good faith - it is the cost of establishing the pattern.

Forms it takes

Direct transfers. Cryptocurrency. Gift card codes. Receiving and forwarding payments for someone. Investment platforms. "Just cover it and I'll settle up when the account unfreezes."

The money-mule version catches people who would never send funds, because it is framed as help or as work. Note that receiving and forwarding money is a criminal offence in most jurisdictions regardless of intent, which means that particular version can end with the target as a suspect rather than a recognised victim.

What to do

Decide the rule now, while nothing is at stake. Rules made in advance survive pressure; judgements made under pressure do not - that is the entire reason the pressure is applied.

And if you have already sent money: stop sending. Do not send more to recover what went. Recovery-fee fraud specifically targets people in exactly that position, often using details from the original scam.